New York Family Law Voice

Divorce & Family Law Insights

Manhattan Divorce and Child Medical Care

Posted in Divorce

Any time a couple goes through a Manhattan divorce, it’s almost always going to exact at least some emotional toll, even if the split is amicable.

Manhattan divorce attorneys know, however, that when the separation is the result of stress or grief related to the illness of a child, these burdens can feel doubly overwhelming. We handle cases involving children with great sensitivity and compassion.

Now, there is somewhat encouraging news being reported by the Danish Cancer Society Research Center in Copenhagen. Doctors there sought the answer to whether a child’s cancer has an impact on whether parents divorce.

The answer: It doesn’t.

We all know that a child’s illness can consume you. This is true even when they have the flu. But for those whose children suffer from chronic or acute illnesses, like leukemia or other forms of cancer, that heartache can have the impact of affecting your relationship with your spouse.

However, researchers found that divorce rates among parents of nearly 2,500 children who had been diagnosed with cancer between 1980 and 1997 had divorce rates that were comparable to the parents of 45,000 children who were deemed cancer-free.

That means no more, no less.

This also included parents who were not married, but who lived in cohabitation.

The team controlled for factors such as income and employment. It was also determined that whether or not the child survived did not impact the parents’ likelihood of divorce. The rate remained the same for them as it did the general population.

Now, that said, divorce rates are still very high in this country. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the marriage rate is roughly 7 per every 1,000 people. The divorce rate, meanwhile, is about 3.4 for every 1,000 – about half.

Researchers noted that there could be some cultural difference that should be taken into consideration when comparing a study done in Denmark than other areas of the world. For example, working mothers in Denmark are the norm – far more common than stay-at-home mothers. That compares pretty evenly to the U.S., where the government reports that more than 71 percent of women with children under the age of 18 are employed outside the home.

So overall, these results can be considered applicable to families in the U.S. undergoing the same trauma.

Of course, none of this means that your child’s illness will have no impact on your relationship. And there is some evidence to suggest that parents whose children are diagnosed with autism do in fact have higher divorce rates. A 2010 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found this to be true – although it’s not as high as the 80 percent, which was long rumored to be the case.

What occurs more frequently is that a divorcing couple has a child with significant, chronic and ongoing medical needs.  It’s important that you consult with a Manhattan divorce attorney who understands the complications that come with long-term medical care needs. There have been many cases where one spouse qualifies for state or federal medical assistance, only to have the government come down on the other spouse, who has an obligation to help with ongoing medical expenses.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Divorce: Maintain Your Financial Stability

Posted in Divorce

A New York City divorce is inevitably going to impact your wallet. There is simply no way around that.

New York City divorce attorneys understand that legal costs should essentially be considered an investment – a way to protect your assets and other interests.

However, you’re also going to go through a period of financial adjustment when the proceedings are final as well, including going from two incomes to one, likely re-thinking retirement plans and possibly additional child care costs.

There are ways, though, that you can help minimize this damage prior to and during the proceedings. Forbes recently touched on this issue in an article, and there is some wisdom there it makes sense to impart.

The first thing to keep in mind is to try your best to live within your new means. People who are going through a New York City divorce have a tendency to simply put everything on a credit card, figuring they have enough to worry about and they’ll deal with it later. The problem is, you will deal with it later and it can sometimes take years to claw yourself out of that debt. Using a credit card might be a smart move in the very beginning to buy you a little time. However, doing so can kick in sky-high interest rates that will impact your credit score if you fall a little behind.

Secondly, you’ll want to take stock of your finances pretty early on the process. Determine if you’re going to have enough to pay all your essential bills like your mortgage or rent and your groceries. Is your spouse going to be helping at all with child care costs? If you know there’s going to be a shortfall, talk about it with your New York City divorce attorney, who may be aware of some options.

This brings us to the next point, which is knowing what your financial options are. Loans from family or friends is one option. There are also divorce lenders, who specifically loan money to people going through a divorce, and then don’t expect to be paid until your case is resolved. Research these options carefully, but know that such services are available.

Finally, you’ll want to do your research in selecting a qualified New York City divorce attorney. You’re going to want to look for someone who is experienced in handling the unique circumstances of your case. For example, if you have child custody issues? Do you have a high net worth? Or is your split amicable with fairly few assets?  What you really don’t want to have happen is to choose the wrong lawyer or one who is sorely unqualified, and then have to switch in the middle of the proceedings. That’s going to not only be expensive, but it will be a major setback in terms of reaching your ultimate goals.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Divorce Expo Offers Resources

Posted in Divorce

A New York City divorce expo has received a great deal of ink in recent weeks.

New York City divorce attorneys understand that the Start-Over Smart expo has been likened to a wedding expo, except it’s for those who are at the end of their lives together, rather than the beginning.

Therapists, mediators and vendors were on hand at the Metropolitan Pavilion, located in Chelsea, to offer advice or sell their goods or just give a listening ear. Many people seemed to believe that if they were going to be miserable, they might as well do it together.

While New York divorce attorneys can understand the sentiment – and certainly anyone who’s been through a divorce knows how important it is to have a strong support system – there is no substitute for a consultation with an experienced attorney.

It’s important to note that just because you’ve hired an attorney, it doesn’t mean the end of all civility. Matters can still be handled with great sensitivity and even mutual cooperation – it just means there is someone looking out for your legal interests, so you aren’t looking back later with even greater regret.

One of the speakers at the expo was a New York City divorce attorney who discussed collaborative law. This goes to the previous point, and it’s a means by which divorcing couples can essentially work through a mediation process to come to mutually beneficial agreements – yet, they still retain their attorneys.

Those who attended the event found value in these kind of discussions – though they did find the $125 admission price for the two-day event a bit steep. One woman, a 42-year-old mother of three, noted that it was comforting to talk to others who were going through a similar process. She said divorce is often painted on television and in movies as a simple, clean process, when the truth is it’s often anything but.

“You’re not prepared for that,” she said. “I mean, who’s prepared for divorce? I certainly wasn’t.”

In addition to the camaraderie among divorcees, there were also hairstylists and make-up artists – standing at the ready with scissors and brushes to give a fresh, polished make-over – something they may soon be needing as many will forge into the workforce once again or tiptoe back into dating.

There were also life coaches, financial planners, parenting experts and even a vendor selling “divorce rings,” priced anywhere from $10 to $60.

Organizers of the event were inspired by similar expos that have been put on Europe for years now. Most trends in the U.S. happen first in New York City, so it’s likely we’ll be seeing more of these types of events throughout the country in the future.

While it’s certainly understandable that an individual would want to seek support and guidance, it’s important to note that the first stop you need to make is to the office of an experienced New York City divorce lawyer. This will help ensure that any other decisions you make from there on out can be done in accordance with solid legal advice.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

Manhattan Divorce Settlement Upheld, Despite Madoff Victim’s Complaint

Posted in divorce settlement

A Manhattan divorce settlement has been upheld, after the ex-husband tried to argue that his ex-wife owed him money after he fell victim to Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme.

Manhattan divorce attorneys understand that the core argument involved whether the two had jointly made a $5.4 million investment that was ultimately lost in the scam.

The New York Court of Appeals denied the Manhattan real estate lawyer’s argument that both he and his ex had mistakenly invested in a fund that in reality did not exist. The couple divorced two years before the fraud became public knowledge.

The ex-wife received a $6.25 million payment from her former husband as part of the divorce agreement that laid out an equitable distribution of property. The husband was asking that $2.7 million of that – or half of the Madoff investment – be returned to him.

However, the six judges determined that the man could have recouped his investment up until 2008 – prior to the couple’s divorce.

The man isn’t alone in his financial distress over the scheme, though this appears to be one of the first times the issue has been the subject of a Manhattan divorce case. Madoff is currently serving a 150-year prison sentence after he was convicted of defrauding thousands of investors out of an estimated $20 billion.

One judge put the question of recouping those losses this way: If the Madoff investment had instead proved lucrative, increasing in worth after the finalization of the divorce, should the wife have been entitled to some of that money? The court said unequivocally no.

The ruling was counter to the lower court’s, which was divided on the issue.

The appeals court judge added that while there does need to be room for divorce settlements to be altered if there  is a glaring mistake, for the most part, those settlements need to stand.

In the event there is a mistake with regard to the divorce settlement, the judges laid forth a set of criteria which should be followed in order to change it. Those guidelines include:

  • That the mistake was substantial;
  • That it existed at the time the settlement was decided;
  • And that court-ordered relief can come only in exceptional circumstances.

This case, it was decided, didn’t meet that criteria because the loss of funds was not at issue at the time of the Manhattan divorce settlement. In fact, the husband was able to draw from the Madoff investment account to pay off a portion of the settlement owed to his ex.

What’s more, that fund may still have some value, depending on how the liquidation of Madoff’s assets proceeds, though that remains to be seen.

The attorney for the ex-wife said that it was a straightforward decision on a case that had no merit to begin with, adding that to go back on an already-settled agreement simply because one party made bad financial decisions is neither ethical nor legally sound.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran Manhattan divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Divorce: When to Let Go

Posted in Divorce

Veteran New York City divorce attorneys aren’t relationship experts by any means. However, you do learn a few things when you practice family law for several decades. 

The truth is, some couples just fight. It’s just part of the way they relate to one another. But for other couples, fights are rare, and a big one can mean the implosion of the marriage.

So how do you know the difference between just another fight and when it’s time to seek a New York City divorce?

Often, couples will fight about one thing, when the bigger problems lie underneath. Getting to the root of those issues is key to helping you decide what your next move should be.

According to a study by the Gottman Institute, couples will stay in an unhappy relationship for as long as six years before making a decision one way or the other. Sometimes, it’s a swift, decisive move. Other times, it involves a long, painful process to reach a conclusion. Rarely is it ever simple, though. In about a third of cases, you may have one half who is one foot out the door, while the other half is begging them to stay.

Of course, counseling is almost always a good idea before you completely make up your mind. Barring any type of physical or emotional abuse, it’s always good for your peace of mind to say you did everything you could do. A new type of counseling, called discernment counseling, is about more than just how you solve certain relationship problems. It aims to help couples figure out whether or not they should stay married.

This type of counseling will try to help the spouse who is leaning toward leaving figure out whether that’s the best course of action, and it helps the spouse who doesn’t want it to end cope in a way that isn’t destructive or ineffective. At the end of five sessions, the therapist will have the couple essentially review the marriage: what was good about it, what was awful about it and what they did to try to make things better. Then, the couple gets three choices: stay with things the way they have been, divorce or spend the next six months in therapy continuing to try to work it out.

Sometimes, couples think that there will be an “aha” moment when it will dawn on them that it’s time to end the marriage. Therapists though say that is most often not the case. It boils down to simply making a decision: do you want to continue on this way or not.

Even if it is something you are merely considering at this point, it can be beneficial to meet with a New York City divorce attorney, who can help you review your options, and give you a clearer picture of what life will look like once you’re separated: where you’ll likely stand with child custody, child support, distribution of assets, retirement and other considerations.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Divorce of Billionaire Highlights Issue of Property Distribution

Posted in Distribution of Assets

The New York City divorce case of a Russian fertilizer billionaire who purchased the most expensive residence in the city is rife with allegations being lobbed from both sides.

New York City divorce attorneys understand that there is almost always a great deal at stake for couples squaring off in the divorce arena. It’s just that in this case, everything is amplified because the dollar figures are astronomical.

The estranged wife is alleging that her husband has been buying property – including an $88 million penthouse in New York – with money and other assets that had been acquired during their marriage, with the sole intent of keeping his wife’s hands off of them.

The purchase of that penthouse, which previously belonged to the CEO of Citibank and is located on Central Park West, made national headlines as the priciest home sale in the city – nearly 70 percent more than the previous record-high sale. Taxes alone are around $2.5 million.

The home was technically purchased by a company created by the billionaire after he filed for divorce in 2008 – which would potentially make it unavailable for consideration in any future settlement. The wife, however, states that the company is nothing more than a sham, with the deal designed to keep her from assets to which she may rightly be entitled.

Additionally, there is a court order in place in Switzerland that mandates a freeze on all shares and assets belonging to the couple – meaning the husband technically should not have been able to purchase the home, which at the time he characterized as housing for his daughter, 22. The couple has two children together.

The billionaire also in 2008 purchased a $95 million home from Donald Trump in Palm Beach.

The wife says her husband has been unfaithful to her, and is seeking 50 percent of all of his assets, which she estimates to be between $6 billion and $12 billion. It was her husband, whose estimated net worth is at $9 billion, who filed for the divorce.

In addition to the purchase of the New York City home, the wife says her husband has placed about $670 million in artwork and furniture in hiding.

There is some talk that a trust will soon be established so that neither party can touch anything until the details of the divorce can be settled in a Swedish court.

In New York state, prior to 1980, was considered a common law property state. That meant that whatever assets or property existed went to whichever spouse was holding onto the title. A wife could seek alimony, but a couple couldn’t. A husband could dispute alimony if the wife had been unfaithful. But then in Orr v. Orr,  it was decided that gender stipulations in a New York City divorce were not lawful, and that marital property should be divided 50-50, regardless of who holds the title.

If you are debating a divorce, you must immediately consult with a New York City attorney who can help walk you through the options available to you, given the unique circumstances of your case.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York GLBT Child Custody Disputes Contentious

Posted in Child Custody, same-sex divorce

New York child custody cases  are often contentious, no matter what the background of the parents.

New York divorce attorneys know it is a difficult process for the parents, as well as the children, and the goal is always reaching a solution that is going to be in the best interest of all involved, but particularly the children.

However, the legal lines can become a bit blurred when it comes to same-sex divorcees when the couple is trying to reach a child custody agreement. Having an experienced New York City GLBT divorce attorney on your side to negotiate the terms of that custody or visitation will be critical in helping to ensure that you and your partner are granted equal rights when it comes to your children.

Obviously, the time, devotion and love offered to the children of  GLBT couples is not diminished by the sexual orientation of the parents. On the contrary, in some cases it’s even more fierce because many GLBT couples have given a great deal of thought about whether to bring a child into the world together, and often have given a lot of money and time into making that dream a reality.

A case out of Florida is shedding light on the debate as it is unfolding nationally. In that case, the couple had been together nine years when one gave birth to a child, after artificial insemination involving the egg of the other woman. Two years after that, the women split up.

The woman who gave birth fled the country with the child, without the knowledge or consent of her ex, who ultimately tracked them down with the help of a private investigator. The child is now 8 years-old, and the state’s supreme court is set to hear an argument over who should have custody.

Initially, the court ruled in favor of the birth mother, saying the biological mother had no parental rights under the current state law. Even the judge in that case was reluctant, saying he hoped his own decision would be overturned – which it was, by an appeals court which said both women had legal rights to the child.

It’s now going before the state’s supreme court, and a host of constitutional questions will be raised about the rights of two individuals in a committed same-sex relationship who choose to raise a child together, and what happens if that relationship dissolves – as half of all heterosexual relationships do.

Florida is not the only place where this issue is playing out. A case out of Virginia involved a woman whose own egg was artificially fertilized and inseminated, with the understanding that she and her same-sex partner, with whom she entered into a civil union, would raise the child together. However, when that woman decided to renounce her sexuality, she claimed full custody of the child, leaving her former partner with seemingly no rights. Then, a Virginia court ordered the other woman custody, and the state’s supreme court upheld that decision. The biological mother is now in hiding with the child.

And then in North Carolina, an openly-gay state senator is suing for joint custody of a toddler, born to the woman whom she had called her spouse.

All of these cases illustrate that you may want to meet with a New York child custody attorney prior to conceiving a child with your same-sex spouse. This is not in anticipation of an impending split, but to help ensure that your right to custody and visitation of the child you care so much for will be protected.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

Manhattan Same-Sex Divorce: It’s Complicated

Posted in Divorce, same-sex divorce

Same-sex divorce in Manhattan has been technically recognized in the state since 2008, when an appeals court determined that a gay marriage performed in Canada could be recognized in New York, for the purpose of dissolving it.

However, as Manhattan divorce attorneys know, gay marriage didn’t become legal in the state until last year, when the gay rights marriage bill was approved 33 to 29 last summer. With that legislation brought a flood of ecstatic couples to the courthouse steps to make their unions legal.

But as we all are sadly aware, sometimes, relationships fail. This may seem an odd thing to say, but one of the benefits of a legal marriage is divorce. It is a chance for ex-spouses to work through details such as child custody, child support, distribution of assets and other aspects in a way that is fair and legally binding for both parties.

This is especially important in cases for which other close family members may not agree with the LGBT lifestyle. Even if you have lived together for a long time or have purchased property together, your partner may not be recognized under the law as having a right to any of those assets unless you are formally married.

And while no one marries with the assumption that it’s going to end, sometimes, endings are inevitable.

Consulting with an attorney to draw up a prenuptial agreement prior to the marriage is one way to head off certain serious issues at the pass.

Barring that, if you are contemplating separation from your same-sex partner, meeting with a Manhattan divorce attorney as soon as possible will help you in determining your options, considering the laws.

This is especially important if you are planning a move out of state. That’s because 40 states still do not recognize gay marriages as legal. This has led to a great deal of consternation, not only for the couples, but for the courts as well.

Take Maryland, for example. There, it will not be legal for same-sex couples to wed there until 2013.

A recent case of this was chronicled in The Baltimore Sun. It described two women who had lived in Washington, D.C., and wed in San Francisco, when California passed legislation to legalize same-sex marriage. Then, the couple moved to Maryland. It was there, they said, that the relationship began to fall apart. But they have not been able to obtain a divorce there, because gay marriage is not recognized by the state of Maryland. A judge there initially refused to oversee the divorce, despite the fact that it was uncontested by both parties.

There have been a sprinkling of same-sex divorces granted throughout the state, but there has been no consistency in terms of who was granted one and who wasn’t – it was solely up to the individual judge.

This case has now made it all the way to the state’s appeals court – which in Maryland, is akin to the New York Supreme Court. It is expected to be heard next month.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran Manhattan divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Prenuptial Agreements Within Orthodox Jewish Community

Posted in prenup

The issue of prenuptial agreements in New York City have become a hot-button topic among those in the Orthodox Jewish community.

New York City prenuptial agreement attorneys are familiar with divorces within the religious Jewish community, known as “gets.”

The issue, as it was recently reported in The New York Times, is that within traditional Judaism, husbands can actually withhold a divorce from his wife. Under state and federal laws in the U.S., she is of course still entitled to a separation and divorce if she chooses. But within her religious community, unless her husband grants her the get, she is considered an “agunah,” or “chained wife.”  This means that while she may leave, she will still be viewed as married to her husband. If she remarries or has children, there will be a stigma forever following her and her offspring.

Some husbands have even gone so far as to essentially extort his wife or her family in exchange for his permission for a get. There have been cases in which spurned husbands have demanded hundreds of thousands of dollars, coverage of credit card bills or mortgages, or reduced alimony payments in exchange for granting the get.

So what protection do these women have?

In the old days, it used to be that the families of wives might resort to violence in order to force the husband to grant that get. That, of course, would be an inadvisable and poor choice, which would ultimately lead to jail time and other consequences (a recent instance of this was reported in New Jersey).

What these women do have, according to Rabbinical law, is the option of a “halakhic” prenuptial agreement. Similar to a secular prenuptial agreement, the parties agree to certain terms prior to marriage. Particularly, this includes support payments, similar to alimony except the husband pays them if and until he agrees to the get. Further, there is the agreement that the religious aspects of their separation should be decided by a Jewish court.

Of course, as the Times reports, some are reticent to enter into such an agreement. Much like the hesitation with a traditional prenuptial agreement, there is the belief that one assumes a marriage is going to fail just because they are concerned with taking the proper steps to protect themselves, their assets and any future children they may have.

Others are concerned about interfering with age-old Jewish traditions. Yet, many within the Orthodox community are striving to have these documents signed by every couple before they are married within the Jewish faith. Rabbis have said that this would go a long way in preventing the plight of “agunahs” and make sure that a separation, should there be one, is as non-contentious as possible.

It may not seem on the surface to be the most romantic thing. But a prenuptial agreement – whether it is within the religious or secular sphere -  is actually a great expression of love. It is saying to the other person that no matter what happens between us, I care about you enough to ensure you will be treated compassionately and fairly.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.

New York City Cohabitation Agreements a Growing Trend

Posted in cohabitation agreement, Divorce

Increasingly, many couples are waiting longer – if ever – to get married. However, that’s not stopping them from entering into a New York City cohabitation agreement.

New York City cohabitation agreement attorneys know that just because there is no ring doesn’t mean  individuals shouldn’t do all they can to protect their interests. While marriage may never be in the cards, people still build their lives together, with all the entanglements that can bring – including children, cars, houses and bank accounts.

CNNMoney recently reported on a growing trend of partnership contracts or cohabitation agreements. These are legally-binding contracts that can cover a litany of life aspects, including child custody, protection of assets and whether alimony-like payments should be made. In these instances, a New York City prenuptial agreement attorney can help you sort out what your options may be.

Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) described the uptick in cohabitation agreements as “dramatic,” and said that as people get older, they may not marry, but they are emotionally, physically and financially invested in the relationship. If it falls apart, they may find they have a lot to lose.

About 40 percent of family law attorneys reported an increase over the last five years in cohabitation agreements among couples who live together.

One might think same-sex couples are at the core of this increase – but they’re not. First, in New York, homosexual couples have the right to marry under the Marriage Equality Act of 2011, and by all accounts, they are doing so. In fact, the Williams Institute reports that as of late last year, more than 150,000 gay couples have been married in the U.S.

Furthermore, the lawyers with the AAML report that about 70 percent of the cohabitation agreements are drawn up by straight couples. What’s more, nearly 50 percent of AAML attorneys said they witnessed an increase in the number of cases between unmarried, cohabiting couples who had split.

About 51 percent of all adults are getting married. That is a record low in this country, according to the Pew Research Center. Many of these couples, however, still move forward in purchasing a home or raising a family together. In New York, there are no cohabitation laws. That means if  you have entered into a home or major purchase together, your interests may be unprotected if you break up or in the event of your partner’s death.

Not only are these type of agreements important in working out sticky issues – like child custody – in advance, they are crucial in protecting you against your ex’s debt. You could actually be responsible for that person’s accrued debt, even if you aren’t married, if it’s not otherwise spelled out.

And while it may seem that all of this is unnecessary, particularly if you find yourself enveloped in a loving relationship you believe will last, that is actually the best time to visit an attorney regarding cohabitation agreements. It’s at a time when neither of you is bitter, so you’re more likely to be fair to one another. The hope is that you’ll never need it – but it is far better to be prepared in case you do.

Albie Myburgh is a veteran New York City divorce attorney who represents clients in family law issues throughout the five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Call 646-380-0130 or contact us through this website.